Friday, November 28, 2014

Shantaram

Shantaram, the name of the book I'm reading and falling in love with.
I decided to write about a part of it that had touched my heart, brought me goose bumps and made me tear up.
The author of Shantaram tells his own story in the book. He's a robber and a heroin addict who escaped from an Australian prison to India, where he lived in a Bombay slum.
Sounds crazy right ?

Gregory (the author) had written the book three times before he was able to publish it. Every time he wrote it, in prison, the guards would throw it away. But he would rewrite it, nevertheless. Now doesn't that make you feel how much it's worth the read.
It's really touching.

Gregory, being a man who lived his entire life on the run, drenched in fear, hostility, and menace, tells his story of transformation, when he is touched by the gentleness and kindness of the Indian people.
During his stay in India, he had spent a few months in a village. There, the simple villagers know nothing of criminals and fugitives, and so they treated him as a peaceful man.
And that, he says, had given him the chance to reinvent himself, to become the man he's always wanted to become.

The part of the story I'm telling you about is when the monsoon season comes on the village, and the rain is very heavy. Lin (Gregory's name that is given to him by the Indians), who is washing his clothes at the river while it rained, notices the river is overflowing and fears it will flood the whole village.
Distressed, he runs to the villagers trying to warn them. But to his surprise, the villagers just laugh at him and try to soothe him. Prabaker (Gregory's guide in India, who becomes his close friend) takes him back to the river, and explains to him how they know that the river will not flood.

Prabaker point to a few wooden sticks hammered to the ground at different places.
“You see those sticks, Lin. Those sticks are the flood-game sticks." said Prabaker.
He explaines that the wooden stakes are part of a flood-game that is played every year. The oldest (wisest) men in the village, and six lottery winners, are given the chance to predict the point to which the river would rise. Each wooden stick, with its flag of yellow silk, represents a best guess.
”But ... how do you know that the river won't rise past this point?” asks Lin.
”We are here a long time, Lin. Sunder village has been in this place for two thousands of years. Everybody knows where the river will stop, Lin.” Explains Prabaker.
Gregory writes of how back then, at that moment he was thinking of another kind of river:
"..one that runs through every one of us, no matter where we come from, all over the world. It's the river of the heart, and the heart's desire. It's the pure, essential truth of what each one of us is, and can
achieve."
On the very day that Lin learned about the wooden stakes of the flood-game, Prabaker's mother (whom Lin had befriended) had told him that she'd decided to give him a new name. She, and the village's people, had judged his nature to be blessed with peaceful happiness. They had agreed with her choice for his first name. It was Shantaram, which means man of peace, or man of God's peace.

HERE COMES THE BEST PART *sobs*

Gregory writes:
"They nailed their stakes into the earth of my life, those farmers. They knew the place in me where the river stopped, and they marked it with a new name. Shantaram. 
I don't know if they found that name in the heart of the man they believed me to be, or if they planted it there, like a wishing tree, to bloom and grow. (*beat beat*)
Whatever the case, whether they discovered that peace or created it, the truth is that the man I am was born in those moments, as I stood near the flood sticks with my face lifted to the chrismal rain."

*cries*
It's too beautiful, I actually got real tears when I read this part.
I really loved how the author came up with this amazing metaphor from the real events at the village. And how it applies to all of us.
Everyone of us has this one person(s) who knows where the river in us stops, and they love us regardless of how far it can go.
When the river rises, they don't panic, they don't fear its flood. They know too well where it can reach.
They accept us as we are.

I hope this fills your heart with joy juice as much as it did mine.
Have a good week, readers.

Saturday, November 22, 2014

Good Stories Change Lives

Ridiculous title, no ?
I used to think so, too.
It is only recently that I have been convinced otherwise.

If you do what I do, and you like to take your time reading your books, to really delve into them, live with them a good three weeks or a month, or even more, you will understand. And even if you were a fast reader, you'll still get what I'm trying to say.
Once you start bonding with a book, and your life and its story start to intertwine, something, a very small thing, changes.
The way you see your life starts to get affected, even if in a very slight way.
The book's reflections, ups and downs, characters, twists, and morals all start to do stuff in the back of your head, and that, whether you like it or not, does affect you.
I've read a psychology book once, and it was talking about studies that have been made that prove that what people read can affect how they think or how they perform on a specific test (short term effect).
But I think that even on the long term, when you have lived in the sphere of your book for some time,  when you change the way you think, take on a new perspective, you're bound to be left with something, even if little traces that might seem like nothing to you. Over time you get to gather traces that can pile up and build a beautiful thing inside.
Or an ugly thing.

So yes, I believe that good stories can change lives, by slightly and slowly changing minds. Not drastic change, yes, but still. Changing the ideas of those around you is a powerful thing to do.
"Ideas are bullet proof.", right ?
I dream to write a mind-changing book one day, inshaAlla. 

Saturday, November 15, 2014

My First Epiphany

So I had an epiphany (n,: a manifestation of a devine or supernatural thing.)
(I only learned its meaning soon)
I think people misuse the term, but hey it sounds cool, so I'm using it.

It was a vision. It was so clear, seconds of clear futuristic scenes.
I saw myself, later on; people talking about my "book", and how it was about the gores and hidden stories and the hardships of being a doctor.
And you might think it's a normal thing to have such a vision, but let me tell you why it's NOT. Living in a Saudi society is crippling. Yep. News flash? Not really.
Before entering med school, I've been warned many times about how i'd lose my life, my entity, my love for everything there is, my femininity, how I wont get to live a normal life, I won't get a man to marry me, I'll lose my hair color, wrinkle up, and I would want to crawl into a hole and die. Yeah. It was that bad of an effect.
I won't deny the fact that I was affected by all that shit. Not actually believed it right away, but it had seeped into my unconsciousness and stayed there, surrounding me with fear without me realizing it.
But as I passed my two first years in med school, I realized (and I hope it would be the last time that I would ever need to be reminded by this obvious damn realiztion):
DONT LISTEN TO WHAT PEOPLE TELL YOU.
You are you and they are they.
Wish I could thoroughly explain to you in a blog post how many times I've realized how stupid I was for believing what people told me, but there is definitely not enough space for that., and it's not something you would grasp by people telling you about it, but rather by you living it fully.
SO. the point is, the vision was not ordinary.
The vision was so clear, close, realisitic and possible!
If I have had it months ago, I would have been kept back from lingering on it by the unconscious feedings of the unconscious fear.
I have a talent (yes, I do) that probably most medical students would have dumped pursuing (judging from what I've seen around me). Going after the passionate speakings of one's mind and writing them beautifully.
It's especially hard when your mind decides to go all poetic on you while you are studying neurology for example, and you have to just stop, grab a paper, and let the words flow. Otherwise, you could miss a beautifully written piece, if you decide to postpone it or ignore it.
Fresh words, and fresh words only.
 If my colleagues knew what I did, they would probably call me crazy.
"Aint no body got time for dat."- the typical med student's response to almost anything IN LIFE.

Entering med school has helped me find my courage to nurture aspects in me, because I had been "taught" that I was bound to lose them. And I decided that I would not allow that to happen.
So I held on to myself. I wouldn't allow anything to take me from me, not even medical school.

So I saw myself; a doctor who decides to get her voice out and heard. With beautiful words that touch hearts and change the minds.
Yes, I saw that and I saw it coming close.
And that epiphany probably wouldn't have come if it weren't for my amazing friends and family, with their feedback on my writings. They really lift me up and get me flying up in the air.
Truly blessed.